Epiphany

People told me running would change my life.
They told me I'd find the meaning to life.
Everybody always say that nothing beats the feeling you experience after finishing a hard session.
Well, to some degree that's true.
Finishing a 8km tempo run feels great, mostly because it's always a challenge but afterwards I am still able to walk...after 20km not so much.
I'm still no single millimeter closer to discovering the meaning of life though and the only thing in my life it has changed is my sleeping patterns.
When I look in the mirror I still don't like what I see.
I don't love myself any more.
I don't hate myself any less.
For all the "friends" I've made I don't spend any more time with anyone but myself.
I still haven't found the joy in my life.
I've lost everything I've ever loved and running is what I'm left with.
I can truely say that most of the time I hate it.
Why do I still run you ask...
Well, that's an easy answer.
All my life I stood back and watched life pass me by, mostly I still do, but I also backed away from anything hard and all the things that I didn't love.
So this time around I said "fuck you, life!"
You can't stop me!
You can't break me!
I'm a fighter and I'm here to stay!
I'm stronger than all those bitches out there that do this week after week because they enjoy it.
It's easy doing something you love.
Try doing something you hate week after week without pause!
My epiphany: how ever hard life pushes you you need to push back harder.

It just never gets any easier...

I remember that first jog like it was yesterday....or this morning...mostly because I felt just as close to dying this morning...and yesterday...and if I'm spared I will feel the very same way tomorrow morning and Saturday morning maybe even worse.
I can clearly remember everything I was thinking that first time: "how long until this gets easier?"

But we joggers and runners are a funny bunch.
The pain never gets any easier or less and neither does the perceived effort.
The only difference that ever happens is we go further and faster.
Many people have asked me why I run, mostly my family.
I can honestly say I don't know of a single jogger in my WHOLE family.
There's plenty of talented athletes amongst them but our bloodline seems to be infused with the kind of talent that lends itself a lot better to sports where flatout speed and strength rules the roost.
I guess whatever talent I have leans that way as well.
Both physiologically and psychologically I struggle to keep it up(jogging).
Honestly, I hate the discipline and work it takes just to stay where I am in the scheme of it all.
But God, in his infinite wisdom, has taken everything else I love from me so it's either running or doing nothing.
Sometimes I just want to quit, but there are people that expect a whole lot more from me than I am delivering at the moment.
In the whole course of my life other people's opinion have meant very little but I wonder what they see that I can't.
So I run even though I hate it, it hurts and I don't see it ever getting better.
I run because I will always love the reason I took my first tentative jog and that will never change.

Newton Distance S: Initial impressions

Had my first run in my brand spanking new, bright canary yellow Distance S shoes.
Only did 8km but here are a few of my initial impressions:

1. The uppers breath VERY well...but it was early and cold and my feet didn't appreciate it...hot days will be heavenly though
2. People notice them. IMMEDIATELY!!! Boy Newton sure don't make inconspicable colours.
3. The medial posting doesn't get in the way, etc uncomfortable...but just how well it works I'll still have to see but for now can confirm that my knees don't hurt.
4. The heel collar padding is quite a bit thinner than on the Gravity or Motion shoes and on only 8km the left shoe rubbed right through my sock and left my heel bloody. Right side no problems though and I have had similar problems with other shoes so time will tell.
5. Cushioning is excellent. Very comfortable to run in. I'm sure this will be a great shoe to do longer distances in.
6. Boy are they light!!! Except for the rubbing they disappear on your feet.
7. The heel obviously won't last as long because it doesn't have carbon rubber and I can already see some scuff marks...the comfort and weight advantages make it worth it in my opinion though...

Here's to many more wonderful miles...

Asics GT2170 500km review

The tread still look good and overall they are in pretty much the same shape as the day I brought them home excitedly.
No compressed mid-sole here like I had with the Pulses.
BUT, and it's a big but...I've ran three races with them and for some apparently explainable reason I've either crashed out or very nearly did with cramps all the way from my Achilles up into my piriformis muscle.
Being the know-it-all that only follows his own head I went back to my trusted old pair of Newton gravity's even though some advised against it.
So far so good.
I've done quite a few kilometers on them since then and still no pains yet.
Their medial side is starting to get severely compressed, probably due to me pronating especially when I'm tired.
During the december holidays I stopped doing faster runs so I only ran in the GT's and then for some reason the pain was back.
Haven't run in them for a while now and though I'm still in some slight discomfort it appears to be getting better even though I'm steadily increasing my distance and pace.
My final verdict is though that its an excellent shoe quality wise.
It will last forever.
For some reason it just doesn't work for me...
Whenever I concentrate on keeping my cadence up thus striking more towards my mid-foot I immediately feel the extra pressure on the ball of my foot, especially towards my big toe.
Heelstriking is wonderfully plush...right up until I've done a couple of kilometers then my knees start to hurt BAD.